


The Library and The Pub

by purplesocrates



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alley Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, First Time, Library Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 03:03:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10480686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplesocrates/pseuds/purplesocrates
Summary: So I wrote this recently as a prequel to another fic I wrote many moons ago.  I will post the other one as a chapter 2.





	1. The Library

**Author's Note:**

> I have started writing fic again mostly for Hannibal, thought I'd pop some old ones on here and then this new one happened!

He is like an itch he can’t find to scratch. Under his skin somewhere invading his body he knows he is there he just can’t quite find him. He wishes he could pull up his skin see inside, see where he is, see where he lives, so he could pick him out, and remove him completely. That’s the problem though he’s somehow managed to get himself inside his DNA, into his cells, the very nucleus of his soul. There is, he’s sure, a tiny microscopic searing all the way through his body that has been there from the moment they met. Even his breath is laced with him, he breathes him out only to breathe him in again there is no escaping from it. It’s beyond distraction now, he can only concentrate on one thing and the thousands of things that microcosm of thought contains. He is beginning to think he cannot comprehend the whole anymore, he can only see in fragments of shapes, body parts, layers of skin, eye colour, hair, movement and hands. He knows it’s an obsession, he knows its hormones making everything feel like its exploding in a white flashes that will blind you. That doesn’t matter because hormones are the betrayers of your psyche, they make you feel the thing you really don’t want to.

Everyone who looks at him must see straight through him, must see that he is consumed by his own mind. They cannot believe the illusion he is maintaining as he sits and studies, stands and walks, eats, pretends to sleep. They must see through to his dreams which are etched onto his eyes every morning. They must see the footprints of desire left behind after every footfall. They must see he is breathing a different air and living in a different world from them. He must see it. Of course, he doesn’t there would never be a way, even if he does he would ignore it.

It’s getting harder to be around him and even more achingly impossible to not be. He needs sleep, if he could just be given one blissful night of dreamless sleep he could see past all this fog. It would be done, it would fixed. 

So he waits in the library, dozing and daydreaming until late, until the lamps are the only light, then the stars once the lamps are out. He sits there pretending to be part of the desk, the furniture in the twilight and hoping he will morph into something other than a beast. 

“Moony.” A voice, as familiar if not more so than his own. Footsteps that echo his heartbeat come towards him and he finds he is unable to move, he pretends he is asleep, hopes he is. Will soon hope he isn’t.

“Moony?” It’s a whisper now right in his ear, the breath expelled from saying his name had made its way to the ever extending seared map inside of himself, absorbed.

“Have you fallen asleep again? Why do you sleep in the library when there is perfectly good bed upstairs. Next to mine.” The last bit he is sure he has not heard, he’s asleep and this is a dream he will wake up in a moment to an empty, dark library with nothing but large star filled panes of glass as windows.

“Moony?” that voice again like a whisper on an autumn day moving the leaves on the grass.

There is a sensation of a finger tracing its way down a recent scar on his face. A real one this time, one left over from his last transformation, it’s still quite red soon it will be a silver etch which fades over time. He knows it cannot be the finger he would like it to be. Now there is a hand on his hair brushing it away from his face. A pause, he feels like he is being studied.

“Your eyelids aren’t fluttering so you must be awake. When you are asleep they are always moving. What do you see in your dreams that’s so interesting?”

How does he know this about his eyes? How would he have ever noticed this? Does he watch him when he’s sleeping? That’s impossible. This is a very strange dream, do you dream about dreaming when you are asleep?

“Moony. Open your eyes.” That was a definite command now, he knows.

He opens his eyes but does not lift his head from where it is resting on the crook of his arm on top of a book he was pretending to read while pretending to sleep.

“Sirius.” He says back to this apparition.

“I knew you were awake.”

“What are you doing?” Remus says pretending to be sleepy when he is not sure he has ever been more awake.

“I came to find you. You weren’t in your bed. I looked.” He says this in a tone of voice Remus has not heard before and it’s making him itchy.

“Why were you looking for me? Is everything alright?” Remus still does not move his head from his arm, it seems he is incapable of it.

“I missed you.” Sirius said and reached out his hand again to Remus’ hair which has fallen in front of his face again, it feels like a gesture he has done a thousand times though Remus knows he hasn’t at least not that he can remember.

Remus sits up and look at the windows. Sirius is leaning against the desk and has an unmoving and fixed look at Remus, which Remus is trying to ignore.

“It’s late.” Remus says. 

“It is.” Sirius says and Remus turns to look at him feeling uncomfortable with his gaze.

“Sirius really what’s wrong? Why are you here?” Remus says.

“Why are you? Why aren’t you in bed?” Sirius says.

Remus sighs, “I fell asleep reading. I was studying.”

“You could have read in the common room or in the dorm and fallen asleep in your bed.” Sirius responds, Remus could have sworn he saw an eyebrow arch.

“What difference does it make? It’s loud and hard to concentrate up there anyway.” Remus responded.

“Of course I thought you would say that.” Sirius said and sighed.

“What is wrong?” Remus said he was worried now.

“You have been avoiding me, you spend more time here than you do with us, with me.” Sirius said.

Remus inwardly felt disappointed but reassured, this is about James, James and Lily he feels left out. Not something else, it would never be something else.

“I’m sorry I know James has been with Evans and you probably feel lonely, I am sorry I’ve been busy. I didn’t mean to avoid you.” Remus said and he started closing his books and gathering his things.

“This isn’t about James. It’s about you, you and I.” Sirius said

Remus paused for a moment and then laughed, “What are you talking about?” Remus stood up and gathered his books some more.

“Moony.” Sirius said.

“Yes Sirius.” 

“Please stop doing that and look at me.” Sirius said.

Remus stopped and looked at him, his hair was out of its usual hasty ponytail and hung loosely around his shoulders, it’s gotten long Remus thought. It was so dark it was reflecting the star light from the windows. His skin was pale but bright, his eyes not blinking.

Remus went to say something and Sirius gracefully un-leant himself from the table and took one stride closer to Remus, he was so close to him now that Remus stopped breathing and was sure he was still dreaming this. Sirius gently but firmly moved Remus so could stand directly in front of him. He was a millimetres away from him. He very slowly pressed his lips against Remus’.

“Moony” he whispered, “tell me.”

Remus’ heart he was sure had stopped beating now. “Tell you what?” He whispered, he couldn’t move Sirius’ grip was soft but firm.

“Tell me what you want.” Sirius’ lips were moving against his own now and every movement felt like his stomach had just leapt to the ceiling and fallen straight back down again. “Moony.” Sirius said and Remus moaned, it just escaped and Sirius smiled, oh god that feeling of the shape of his smile against his own lips.

“Yes.” Remus said.

“If you want me to kiss you I will. If you want me to leave I will. You have to tell me.” Sirius’s hands were now very low down on Remus’ back he was not sure when that had happened but now he had noticed it was very hard to un-notice.

“Sirius.. I” Those hands had managed to find their way under his shirt and he moaned again.

“Moony.” His name from those lips, another moan, another smile. “Tell me. I want you to tell me. I am not going to do anything more than this unless you tell me.”

They stood there for what seemed like decades while Remus’ mind tried to decide what was going on, whether it was real and whether he cared.

“I want you to kiss me.” Remus said in a rush. Another smile, languid and smug.

“Good.” He said. This is a game Remus, thought a horrible game.

“Sirius please I couldn’t take it, if this is just a game or a joke, can we just not.” Remus said urgent now.

“This is not a joke. I was just thinking that as you have been avoiding me you perhaps need to earn it.” Sirius said and his hands had gone lower and were travelling towards Remus’ arse another moan and another smile.

“Oh god Sirius what?” Remus said his back arching as Sirius’ hands were slowly searching.

“Just one more thing.” Sirius said

“What? Anything!” Remus was totally unable to stop the desperation in his voice now.

“Tell me what you have been dreaming about. Was it me?” Sirius said.

Remus looked at him and smiled which finally made Sirius look a bit unbalanced.

“How do you know I dream? You said you knew I was awake, how?” Remus asked trying to play before he fell apart.

Sirius smirked and Remus moaned again. “I watch you. When you are sleeping. So do you dream about me?”

“Yes.” Remus said watching those lips, that tongue just licked those lips Remus is now sure he will not survive this.

“Was the dream like this?” Sirius asked.

“Less talking.” Remus said and Sirius laughed, threw his head back and laughed, his pale neck shining in the moonlight it was all Remus could do to stop himself from licking it.

“Ok.” Sirius said and lent closer again to Remus, he removed one of his hands from Remus’ back and put it in his hair and gently moved him closer this time he kissed him full, open mouthed, his tongue flicking Remus’. They both moaned now. 

Remus lent back on the table knocking the books to the floor, Sirius climbed on top of him very deftly removing his own shirt and then started unbuttoning Remus’. Remus reached down and undid Sirius fly and caught his cock in his hands and Sirius moaned so loudly into Remus’ mouth that they both had to come up for air momentarily. Remus kept seeing that smile leap across Sirius’ face. He moved down Remus body kissing his chest all his scars and then took his cock into that smile and Remus was lost forever. He gripped the table and arched his back as Sirius sucked and kissed him, it was not long until Remus came and Sirius swallowed it all. He stood up and Remus grabbed his cock and pleasured him until they were both spent falling on top of each on the desk.

When they had caught their breath and gathered their clothes Remus spoke, “Sirius?” 

“Yes Remus.” A glint in his eye, then a whispered “Moony.”

“Do you really watch me sleep?” Remus asked.

“Sometimes yeah. You watch me all the time, when you think I can’t see you.” Remus looked down. “I don’t mind, I quite like it.” That smirk. “So you can stop avoiding me now ok?”

“Ok.” Remus said.


	2. The Pub

The pub was crowded and smoky, the beers tasted bitter and warm. Remus was never sure why Sirius and James insisted on coming to this place. The walls were old and bulging the beams were so low they would always crack their heads and swear. There were old black and white pictures of men with their transport through the ages starting with old steadfast solid horses to classic cars and motorbikes. It all just seemed like a monument to Remus, a muggle time capsule that hermetically sealed them in with its thick walls and overbearing beams.

They had been working with the order now for a few years Harry had just been born and whenever James came out he looked haggard his hair more of a mess than either Remus or Sirius had ever seen it. He would stay for a few and then go home, he would say, and Sirius would diligently ply him with more luke warm beer until he stumbled home to Lily’s rolling eyes and Harry’s knowing giggle.

Pete was quiet these days and spent a lot of time with Lily and Harry he seemed to enjoy the peace they gave him. Remus thought it was because Lily had always been kind they could not claim the same. Peter seemed to need kindness in these times and Remus could not carry everyone. James and Sirius were so well connected they stood against each other.  
Remus sighed as he saw James stumble from the pub to the back alley where he would apparate home.

“Are you sure he can do magic?” Remus said sipping from his chipped pint glass.

“Yeah he’ll be fine he was last week.” Sirius said that easy smile seemed harder these days more drawn on his face with a pale ink.

“Define fine. He managed to apparate but without his clothes Sirius.” Remus cocked an eyebrow.

“He had his glasses and let’s face it Lily has seen it all before. We all have, he would be naked all the time if he could you know how he loves to ‘roam free’” Sirius added the quote marks and Remus laughed they had all seem James run around Hogwarts naked when he had a few too many fire whiskeys.

“Why do we come here anyway? It’s a hole.” Remus said.

“I like it, I like the pictures and the warm beer.” Sirius said toasting the walls with his fast diminishing pint. He took a cigarette from the packet on the table and lit one while it was in his mouth with no lighter. He offered one to Remus, even though he knew Remus did not smoke he shook his head.

Their silence was strange, Remus thought they had not been alone together for a long time.  
“Remus?” Sirius asked his voice an abstract tone and he was staring at a picture of a man with a motorbike, a small white dog sat on the driver’s seat, the sepia had started to discolour slightly making it look more yellow than brown.

“Yes.” Remus answered looking at the way Sirius held his cigarette the smoke curling around his fingers and landing in his hair.

“You remember at school that time in the library.” Sirius was still staring at the picture on the wall he took a long drag and Remus watched how his chest breathed in the smoke and the ashes.

Remus had a sudden flash of Sirius’ arched back and his hair caught in moonlight, his skin so white it looked blue.

“Yes.” Remus answered.

“Do you ever think about it?” Sirius turned and looked at Remus a challenge on his lips, a want in his words.

Remus would never back from a challenge his instincts would not allow it he would do all he could to shape the world around him it was all he could to scrape control particularly from this man.

“Yes.” Remus replied, he did think about it. Some nights he used the memory as a cover a wonderful net for his decreasing sanity a reminder that losing control could be a haven not a hell, a way to carve out an existence, a way to find experience and swim in it like red wine.

“I think about it.” Sirius said his gaze still on Remus, he did not flinch Remus could take whatever Sirius threw at him well at least he always believed that, he was beginning to have flickers at the edges. But then Remus always had doubts he was always thinking.  
Remus raised an eyebrow at Sirius, “We are too old now Sirius. It would not be half as pretty.”

Sirius laughed “Speak for yourself old man I still look good naked.”

“You are starting to sound like Prongs.” Remus said still not looking away.

Sirius smirked, “Yeah but Prongs does not have the goods to back his claims up,” a pause, “Moooony” Sirius would occasionally put too many o’s in Remus’ nickname because he loved to see the flicker of delight that sprang across Remus’ face he was, as far as he knew, the only one to cause this look in Remus’ eyes and he was proud of it.

Remus groaned, “You are a whore Sirius.”

“Yes Remus, yes I am” Sirius said leaned across to whisper in Remus’ ear, “I most assuredly am.”

Remus laughed and tried to push him away but Sirius had moved towards Remus’ mouth and was inches away from it the smell of nicotine and beer mixed with Sirius was so close. Remus smiled and Sirius kissed him.

It felt like old times and past connections mixed with oldness and cracked trust. He could feel Sirius all edges and paleness against him, he breathed him in along with his doubt.  
When Sirius parted from Remus they were both acutely aware that people were starring so Sirius sat back and finished the last of his pint. The cigarette he had just lit was still smoking he tilted his head back and took a long drag his eyes closed. Remus watched the curve of his Adams apple. Sirius gave him a sideways glance and smirked, Remus licked his lips wondering what Sirius’ neck would taste like.

Sirius got up and Remus followed him wordlessly they made their way to the alley at the back of the pub where there was a pile of what looked suspiciously like James’ clothes and they both laughed.

Remus grabbed Sirius and pushed him up against the wall knocking over one of the bins.

“Remus.” Sirius groaned as Remus pushed himself against him inches away from his face.

“Yes.” Remus replied and Sirius smiled. Remus lent forward and kissed Sirius so hard he bit his lip, Sirius hips started to move against Remus whose hands had made their way down to Sirius’ belt buckle and had very deftly, Sirius thought, undone it and pushed his trousers down as Sirius attempted to the same as Remus was licking and then biting his neck.

Soon they were both rubbing against each other breath hard and haggard, Remus watched how Sirius skin pulsated when he touched him and found it hard to breathe. It was not long till they had both come Remus’ weight against Sirius.

Sirius laughed and kissed the top of Remus’ hair, softer than it looked.

“I have been thinking about that for the longest time.” Sirius breathed as he watched Remus pull his trousers back on.

Remus shook his head, “You are still a whore.”

Sirius touched his lip and then looked at the blood left on his finger, “hey at least I don’t bite.”

“I am werewolf Sirius what do you expect.” Remus laughed, “can I have one of those cigarettes’ now?”

Sirius laughed pulled his trousers on and fished the packet out for Remus and gave him one and took one for himself. Remus moved beside Sirius and lent against the wall they both stood their smoking till Remus finished his and stubbed it out on the ground with his foot.  
It had started to rain Remus looked up at the sky, “Well same time next week.” he said.  
Sirius laughed and nodded, he watched Remus walk further up the alley and then heard the loud crack as he disappeared. Sirius watched the space where Remus had last been, after a moment he pushed himself from the wall picked up James’ clothes and apparated to Lily’s from the exact spot where Remus had just been.


End file.
